


National Pancake Day

by imkerfuffled



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Young Avengers
Genre: Gen, National pancake day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3474803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imkerfuffled/pseuds/imkerfuffled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David notices that they eat 100% more breakfasts than average people (a side effect of hopping universes so often with disregard to time zones) and suggests they add a little variety to their diet. The others don't take it well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	National Pancake Day

**Author's Note:**

> I heard today was National Pancake Day at IHOP, so I decided to write something.

“Have any of you ever questioned,” David said as he contemplated the diner menu, “why, out of the last eighteen meals we’ve eaten, twelve and a half of them have been breakfasts?” 

The rest of the team looked up from their menus. Kate pulled a “you have got to be shitting me” face, while Noh-Varr looked confused. Billy and Teddy both looked like someone had just told them two plus two equals three. America’s expression clearly said, “so what?” Loki shrugged and went back to slurping a milkshake no one had seen him order. 

“I think the real question here is why you’ve been keeping track,” Kate said. 

“No, I think it’s ‘twelve and a half,’” said Teddy. 

“Well, the three of you,” David pointed to Kate, Teddy, and Billy, “ordered off the breakfast menu at dinner yesterday, so I rounded up.” 

Billy was counting on his fingers, obviously trying to do the math in his head. 

“That means a little over two thirds of the meals we eat are breakfasts,” David explained, waving his menu around to punctuate his point, “That’s twice the breakfasts we’re supposed to have. We're like Hobbits, except without the other extra meals to balance it out.” 

Everyone stared at him. David stared back, wide-eyed, clearly baffled by their lackluster reaction. Only Loki’s slurping broke the silence. 

“Okay,” David said, slumping back in the booth, “Of the five and a half meals that haven’t been breakfast, four of those were Korean barbecue. We have only had one and a half meals with any variety in the past week, and one of those was a weird alien place that only served blue food, and the other half was McDonalds. Is _no one_ else getting sick of pancakes and Korean barbecue?” 

Even Loki stopped his slurping. They were all too shocked by David’s accusation. 

“How could you even say that?” Kate finally said, sharing everyone’s scandalized expressions, “It’s _pancakes.”_

“And _Korean barbecue!”_ added Loki. 

“I don’t even know what Korean barbecue _is,”_ David protested. 

“It’s _Korean barbecue!”_ Loki shouted again. 

“And pancakes,” said Billy, “You can’t get tired of pancakes.” 

“I’ve got to agree with Billy on this one,” said America. 

Kate jabbed Noh-Varr in the side. “Bro, help us out here.” 

Noh-Varr, who had been staring intently at David over his menu, sighed and set the menu down. “Actually,” he said, “Pancakes are getting kind of boring. I mean, we have them at least once a day. I’m ready for a change.” 

There was a second of silence, before everyone started shouting. 

“How could you?” 

“That’s it, no sex for you.” 

“Chica, I did _not_ need to hear that.” 

“You traitor!” 

“Sitzpinkler!” 

“What the hell, Loki. That’s not even English.” 

“Excuse me,” said an unfamiliar voice. 

Everyone froze mid-flailing-hand-gesture and turned to look at the voice’s owner. It was their waitress, standing in front of the table looking slightly alarmed. 

“Um, are you ready to order?” she asked. 

“Yes,” David said forcefully, “I’ll have a _hamburger.”_ He glared at everyone else, as if daring them to judge him. They did. 

“If I could draw your attention to today’s specials,” the waitress said, gesturing to a chalkboard at the front of the restaurant, “we’re offering unlimited free pancakes in honor of National Pancake Day.” 

Everyone slowly turned to stare at David. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” he said. Suddenly he narrowed his eyes at Loki. “This is your fault, isn’t it?” 

“How could I fake a national holiday that's celebrated by thousands of people throughout the multiverse? You can look it up," Loki said, looking hurt. 

“I thought it was an IHOP thing," Kate muttered. 

“Shut up. Don't debase a national holiday." 

While David pulled out his phone to check Loki on his facts, Noh-Varr shrugged and told the waitress, “I'll have the pancakes, then." 

Kate smiled sweetly at him. “I take it back, Noh, we can—ow!" She didn't get to finish her sentence due to America's foot connecting with her own at great speed. 

Meanwhile, the waitress was still waiting for their orders. 

“The rest of us will have pancakes too," America told her, making the decision for them. Everyone turned to stare expectantly at David again, who looked up from his phone. 

“Fine," he said with a rueful smile, “Pancakes it is!"


End file.
